Mad men

scene 1

• This is the one. 1962 Coupe de Ville. Does everything but make breakfast. What are you in now?
• I had a Dodge.
• Those are wonderful if you want to get somewhere. This is for when you’ve already arrived.
• Is that right?
• Of course, someone like you, you don’t need to see yourself in a Cadillac, you’re wakling about in one everyday. How’d you like your car to look like that? Look at you. I bet you’d be as comfortable in one of these as you would in your own skin.

scene 2

• You know what helps? Splash cold water on your face and go outside. You’ll notice things are right where you left them.

scene 3

• If I don’t go into that office everyday, who am I?

scene 3

• Everything’s so easy for you.
• It’s not easy for anyone, Pete.

some book mentioned in the show
menditations in an emergency — by Frank O’…

scene 4

• The only thing keeping you from being happy is the belief that you are alone.

Mad men

• What’s wrong with you?

• I don’t know.

• What do they want you to do?

• I don’t know.

• Yes, you do. Do it. Do whatever they say. Get out of here and move forward. This never happened. It will shock you how much it never happened.

又是一个睡到自然醒的浑浑噩噩的Sunday noon，承诺了同事周日上午去教堂看他俩演出的事就这么黄了:E
话说这个月挪威的节日真多，上上周劳动节放假，上周有个什么宗教节日又放假，下周赶上他们国庆又连着四天放假。我有时候喜欢上班胜过放假，工作任务没有完成到我想要的程度就会极度负罪感，恨不得加班，尽管没有人会说我什么，甚至都会赞许地说已经很好了。这里的行事文化，based on鼓励而不是斥责。从小受的教育使我特别把工作成果当回事儿，进度不理想就心里特别膈应。上周我这边的老板在赞了一遍我那改了又改（并且我始终不满意）的poster以后对我说：There is work, and there is life. 他们对刚入职的新人都极度宽容，这跟我听同学说的某些国内国企不一样，并且我似乎可以理解那样的行事风格——年轻时不经历过些磨难，不受些苛责，将来怎么有面对更大困难的承受力？我一直是个好学生，从小都特别理解老师家长的严厉是出自为我们好的本意。所以我不知道现在的日子是好是坏，诚惶诚恐地每天看着我自己都觉着灰心的进度被别人夸得貌似很重大… 然而冷静下来观察了一下周围的同事们，大家都很开心，每天下班很积极，然而工作时都异常专注而热情——they truly love their job！从而并没有我以为的轻松氛围而造成的敷衍懈怠。我觉得现在是我的思想转变期了, although I am not 100% sure which one is better, but I really need to be more relaxed. 再过一个多月我就工作满一年了，最近思想活动很活跃啊，之前的节奏使我从来静不下心来思考，现在一下子慢下来了。Anyway，我的文字总是无法表达我的复杂内心，中学语文都还给老师了-_-不费劲试图表达乱七八糟的观点了，上一最近的pp：
五月份的下班路上， 对比之前四月份的。。。春天终于光顾北欧了

Mad men

Don: Why aren’t you married?

Are you asking what’s wrong with me?

Don: It’s just that you’re a beautiful, educated woman. Don’t you think that getting married and having a family would make you happier than all the headaches that go along with.. fighting people like me?

…

So that’s it, you won’t get married because you find business to be a throw.

That, and…I’ve never been in love.

Don: She won’t get married because she’s never been in love. I think I wrote that once to sell nylons.

For a lot of people, love isn’t just a slogan.

Don: Oh you mean love. You mean the big lightening bolt to the heart where you can’t eat and you can’t work and you just run off and get married and make babies. The reason you haven’t felt it is because it doesn’t exist. What you call love was invented by guys like me to sell nylons.

Is that right?

Don: I’m pretty sure about it. You’re born alone and you die alone. And this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I’m living like there’s no tomorrow…Because there isn’t one.

I don’t think I realize it until this moment, but it must be hard being a man, too.

Don: Excuse me?

Mr. Draper.

Don: Don.

Mr. Draper. I don’t know what it is you really believe in, but I do know what it feels like to be out of place, to be disconnected, to see the whole world laid out in front of you the way other people live it. There is something about you that tells me you know it, too.

Don: I don’t know if that’s true. You want another drink?

No. But you can tell your boss that you charmed me.

Eventually you come up here, or you die wondering.

PS: 最近的饮食显示我好像已经放弃了。

昨天出去溜达，到了T-town里一个我没去过的角落，在一个依山傍水的老教堂边上的草地上，一个极其可爱的挪威小男孩跟我说话，好在我可以简单解释我的“听不太懂挪威语”issue，而不至于让小boy失望，很开心他貌似听懂了我的解释并且热心地给我指了方向，maybe告诉我哪里可以学说norsk。。。最后小男孩带着他的小女伴离开的时候还挥手跟我ha det好可爱好可爱顿时让我一周的stressful云消雾散了

明天开始真正做新东西了，一定要加油。其实可以感觉到一点点北京那边有同事对我有意见。。说话都酸溜溜假惺惺的。他们无法体会我所承受的压力:( 转念想他们互相之间也这样，就释然些。 Anyway，be nice to people, work hard and leave no place to regret :)
加油吧！

昨天是我来T以后最stressful的一天，修改那个破程序早该完结了，被我拖到现在，还害的nana陪我在公司耗到七点。真丢人。。。我要上点心的，关于科研，关于工作。

一定要有节制的饮食了，身材皮肤要保养好，自己已经不再年轻了。

前天娜娜休假回来上班了，我们讨论了一下午deghosting，晚上一起在一家挪威菜的小餐馆吃了饭。我要了番茄味的鱼汤，还不错哦。我们聊天了好久，居然一直到十点多才意识到原来已经很晚了。现在天黑得很晚，九点还有太阳。那天下午的friday cake and chat，也是几个人天南海北的聊天，我没有参与，只是听着。意识到自己对周边事物的认识匮乏，我兴趣太少了，读书太少了，关注的事情太少了，以至于欠缺谈资。。。以后真应该多注意些这方面的修养。

看微博知道了zq已经去了北京，估计是去工作吧，猜想。感觉跟之前的种种分手原因联系起来看，感觉好讽刺。不过都与我无关了。其实已记不清具体的分手事由，除了自己告诉自己去告诉别人的那些，什么异地之类的，现在想来应该不是那么简单吧。。我作为当事人也都记不清了，how funny is that？

昨天刚得知以后作文一则：It is funny.
写完以后自我欣赏了几遍，觉得自己很有才，突然就感觉没那么多这那的negative thoughts了。我应该已经真的是不care了。然后回想了一下wf，某变态，包括zq，我真的是不再感觉到什么了。Fint, bra~

Funny that I used to care so much.
Funny that I do not care anymore yet whenever I am bored I go back checking that page.
Funny that I always assume this and that while they are simply not.
Funny that I constantly feel jeg er ok nå while there are always something ambushing me waiting for that ok moment to bloody hit me.
Funny that I do not feel hurt anymore. I just stare, in a daze, numbness climbs up from my toes. Suddenly feel like laughing, because it is funny, so very very funny.

挪威人的生活很悠哉，他们在工作上不会有很大的竞争，因此压力不大。他们下班很积极，下班到天黑这段时间才是他们一天的重点所在。很多人会选择和家人一起，经常看到一家四五口人晒太阳，大人们悠闲的喝着咖啡，孩子们在一边又跑又跳又笑；年轻人会和朋友一起，自发组织的活动有许多，曾受邀去参加了一个比舞大会，我的一个同事跟她的几个朋友组织了个舞蹈小团体，每周至少两次下班后在一起训练，然后每年一到两次跟别的小团体”切磋舞艺”，认识了好多人，had a lot of fun；奶爸现在貌似很流行，逛超市的时候常能遇见推着婴儿车的年轻爸爸，驻足在货架前若有所思，大约是在盘算还需要入些什么，婴儿车内的洋娃娃们则乖巧的含着奶嘴，扑闪着大眼睛好奇张望；model似的美女则随处可见，金发长腿蓝眼，热爱运动。。。而我是一个局外人，旁观着这一切。从香港到北京再到这里，生活上节奏一下子慢下来让我变得无所适从。曾经每天的时间不够花，到现在的大片空余时间，真正让我开始反思了自己的人生观。I need a hobby, desperately.喜欢上班胜过下班的生活想想有些sad。最近渐渐感觉到自己缺了什么——热情，执着喜欢一样事物的热情。

阴天的周末出去蹓跶，河边彩色的小木屋

下班路上，near my office, by the sea。四点就下班了，十点才天黑，每天下班以后的时间最漫长

今天上了第一次课，四个人的小班，除我之外的人都至少会四国语言。其中一对夫妻中的wife是我同事，是xx尼亚人，大致东欧那边的，会他们本国语言和德语意大利语英语，她老公是来打酱油的，据说是土耳其人少年移居意大利的，另一位女同事南美人美国上学嫁了个挪威人并且貌似会说法语。关键是他们都会发那个rolling R的音啊晕我突噜半天也没突噜出来叹气。Anyway，但求能听懂别人说什么就好了汗。

第一次课学得不多，要时常练习才好，年纪大了记性不好了。